Is there more to life than this?

Directing My Path

For a grandmother of 52, I have a very low boredom threshold. I like learning new things, getting to know new people, and facing personal challenges. My latest challenge is studying art therapy, which combines two of my favorite things: art and counselling.

I grew up in a Christian home, but my impression of God was that he was a severe judge and disciplinarian. I had been told that he loved me, but this knowledge didn't get through to my emotions. At 18 I left home and did whatever pleased me, including experimenting with alcohol and dating guys who were living for fun and freedom from responsibility. At 19 I met the man who was to become my husband, and we worked, drank and played as if there was no tomorrow. By the time I was 25, I was a homemaker and mom with 2 small children. Before I left home my Dad tearfully told me that he had always hoped his grandchildren would go to Sunday School. I promised him that his hopes would come true. I intended to keep my promise, so I began taking the children to Sunday School-- at least, we attended whenever nothing more pressing came up, like visitors or a hangover. It wasn't long, though before I noticed that the people who went to the church, in Fort St. James, had something different about them. There was a peace and joy that shone out of their faces, although I knew that their lives were not necessarily easy. In my little kitchen in our apartment, I asked God to prove to me that he existed. It's hard to explain the feeling that came over me. All I can say is that a warm presence of strength and love overwhelmed me. I felt that I could resist anything, that my spirit was indestructible. Wow! I was convinced.

I wish I could say that from that moment on I turned away from all my useless occupations, such as partying, smoking, gossiping, and so on...but my growth as a Christian has been irregular to say the least. There have been challenges in our lives. Our son had many health problems, learning disabilities, and alcoholism. He was in a relationship with a woman who is a drug addict, and they had a child who spent a great deal of time with my husband and me, beginning when he was 5 days old. Sometimes we can visit him, and sometimes we aren't allowed to see him. One of our daughters spent several years wasting her life with a series of bad relationships. My husband is still not interested in Christianity. He has changed jobs many times since we were married in 1968, and we have lived in 7 different towns since then.

The good news is that I always know I can turn to Jesus when things are rough, or when they're going well, and He will hear me and answer my prayers. He keeps me safe in situations where I am tempted to participate or condone spiritual activities that I know are wrong. He promises in Proverbs 3:6 that if we acknowledge Him in all we do, he will "direct our paths." Sometimes His blessings are beyond my understanding: Our third child, a daughter was born with the umbilical cord wrapped around her neck and didn't breathe on her own for almost 10 minutes, but she's perfectly normal. God kept our oldest daughter safe in inner Philadelphia when she was a teenager. He kept my father alive six years after a severe heart attack, to the amazement of his doctors. When our son goes through the consequences of his alcohol addiction, God keeps him safe and alive.

I know I can turn all my loved ones over to Him for safekeeping, and although there is no guarantee that things will work out the way I want them to, I have the peaceful knowledge that He is in control of the universe, and that he cares specifically about my life and the lives of the ones I love.

I recommend that if you ever have problems, doubts, feelings of emptiness or loneliness, look into the Bible, beginning in the Gospel of John or talk to someone who knows the Lord. He's waiting to heal your broken heart and give you joy.

 

Do you have questions about life? Here's some answers. Discover the power to change your life. Click here.

Click here to email this to a friend